


Never Abandon Me

by MiniDemons



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Amputation, Angst, M/M, Oikawa doesn't get better, Recovery, car crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniDemons/pseuds/MiniDemons
Summary: Sometimes they would lay in bed and he would talk about how… fake the car crash seemed. It was just like the movies and everyone knows the movies fake it as much as possible. Nothing in movies are real. And Hajime would agree and go- yeah, hard to believe it was real. That it ever happened. (His leg throbs at the reminder- the leg that isn’t there)





	

Car crashes are hectic and messy and just pure chaos- which was obvious to anyone really.

 

You just never truly realize it until your world is tipping upside down, until the glass shards are digging into you, until your leg is causing you _so much pain_ and you just want it to _stop._ It’s not… real or important until you hear the screeching of metal, the screaming of the other occupant. 

 

He was in a coma for about a week, his left leg amputated and all of his future plans crashing into nothingness. He would say burning but really he was sitting in ashes already when his brown eyes flickered open for the first time. So they just… crashed. Reality and his hopes and dreams just-

 

Crashed.

 

But at least he wasn’t alone, a shaky hand moving- barely moving but still moving- to touch the person resting next to him. Hajime startled, exclaiming something about how he is just so _glad your alive, Tooru_. Telling him that he gave Hajime a _fucking heart attack, never do that again._

 

That he _thought I lost you_.

 

And he laughed, because of course Hajime would be with him.

 

Hajime would never, ever abandon him. The spike haired boy looked cross, muttering that _your lucky I don’t hit hospitalized people._  

 

And Tooru smiled, because he was lucky indeed. But not in the way Hajime thought.

 

Recovery was a long, horrible process, and this was just the start. The doctors told him he needed someone (besides Hajime, no Hajime) to help him with the stretches and coping, to learn them. Hajime had scoffed because if anyone could help him- Hajime could.

 

He lied and told the doctor that he’d get Makki or Mattsun to help him out.

 

His parents pushed for him to see a psychiatrist- he refused because sure he wasn’t _happy_ about his leg but he could deal. He had Hajime and he could get through anything as long as Hajime was there. Hajime called him an idiot, told him _you should go to therapy._ That it might help to have someone else to talk to outside of Hajime. Tooru pouted, quick to reply with- _you are all I ever need. All I ever needed._

 

It was raining one day, raining terribly and he hurt so much and then when he went to get up everything just- collapsed. On the floor and legless and he just- It took a while to drag himself up, took Hajime there to help him up and- 

 

_He was just so useless. Why was he so useless_.

 

That day was the first day Tooru ever told Hajime he loved him, crying and clinging to him. The spike haired male just smiled at him and told him that everything was okay. Was _going to be okay_. And he trusted those words, because Hajime had never once lied to him before. Hajime always told the truth- it was one of the ways their friendship worked since Tooru was a notorious liar but Hajime? Painfully honest.

 

Life didn’t exactly get easier- his leg hurt and he’d get phantom pains on the leg that _wasn’t even there_. But he could deal. He dealt with the knee injury, he dealt with stupid _Tobio-chan_ , he could deal with this. With the loss of a leg and the loss of volleyball. He could deal.

 

His mother consistently told him to see a psychiatrist. He kept saying he was fine and doing great because _Hajime’s there to take care of me. Don’t worry._

 

Hajime was always there- always with Tooru and sometimes he wondered if Hajime quit college because _how can you always be here? Don’t you have a life Iwa-chan?_ Hajime promptly hit him on the head, grouching out that _I’m simply taking a break Trashykawa. Someone has to look after your accident-prone ass._ Rude Iwa-chan. Rude would be all that he could say in response. But that’s how Hajime always was so he was used to it.

 

One day he lost the prosthetic leg- he didn’t know how but when he woke up and went to grab it, it just- gone. Not there. That day Hajime never showed up despite all the times he called or texted Hajime’s phone. He found it the next morning, right where he always put it and- 

 

Sometimes he doubts that day ever happened. It was a bad dream or something (because those calls never went to voicemail and Iwa-chan always has voicemail on in case of something important-). Hajime showed up the next day and acted like nothing was wrong.

 

He asked Hajime if he’d like to go out that date. 

_Like Date?_

_Yeah- date me. Go out. I love you so-_

 

Hajime agreed with the brightest smile- but they never actually went out. It stayed the same exact same just with kisses and more touches. But he was okay with that, he told his mother he had a boyfriend now and his mother sounded so- 

 

Proud. _You’re getting better then, honey?  
I’ve been telling you, I’m doing great._

 

Some days were terrible, he couldn’t bring himself to actually try to stand for hours on end. Hajime would simply be sitting there trying to coax him to _do something. You can’t just sit here and waste your life away. You are better than this_. He would laugh and say, _I’m just being lazy right now. Give me a bit._

 

Sometimes they would lay in bed and he would talk about how… fake the car crash seemed. _It was just like the movies and everyone knows the movies fake it as much as possible. Nothing in movies are real_. And Hajime would agree and go- _yeah, hard to believe it was real. That it ever happened._ (His leg throbs at the reminder- the leg that isn’t there)

 

He turned towards Hajime and flicked him because _your talking like you were there_. Hajime simply smiled at him because- he wasn’t in that car so he doesn’t know how fake or real it seemed to be. Hajime was at home, even though he was _supposed_ to be in that car. They were supposed to be going on their weekly get together (going towards the movie theatre to watch Prometheus) when Hajime canceled because he was sick. Tooru went alone anyways because- it was opening night. This was their thing and if Hajime couldn’t watch it he’ll just watch it for the both of them.

 

His mother stops bugging him to go to therapy, because _you really are getting better_. She was crying when she told him that over the phone.

 

He only feels slightly guilty about telling her he got a job when he doesn’t. (He learned to stop mentioning Hajime around her, Hajime just looks on with a frown of disappointment but he simply tells the spike haired man that _what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her_.)

 

He gets called by Makki and Mattsun to come get drinks with them and he tells them he can’t- _I already have a date planned. Maybe next time?_ Makki groans and Mattsun tells him that next time they want to meet this mysterious person he’s dating! After the call he’s laughing because they already have met Hajime. 

_You haven’t told them yet then, Iwa-chan?_

 

It’s another morning and he wakes up alone. He ends up alone all day again- a repeat of before but this time he never touches his phone (Hajime’s phone number had been deleted that one time- _serves him right for never answering_!)

 

One day he doesn’t wake up at home- he’s in the (horribly) familiar room of a hospital. Things sticking out of him and his mother sitting on the side, hands twisting around and all around fretting.

_Why haven’t you been eating Tooru? You should have told us!_

 

Hajime is bowing, apologizing so much saying _I’m sorry. I didn’t know._ His mother never looks at Hajime and he finds himself speaking out that _you shouldn’t blame Iwa-chan! He was trying his best_. 

 

They pulled something, he wasn’t sure what it was because he wasn’t listening but they pulled something and he found himself sitting in a (not so) comfy chair across from a psychiatrist. Hajime waited outside of the office for him since they didn’t allow guests on ‘therapy sessions’.

 

On the way home he continuously complained about how the therapist kept asking him about the car accident and _how Iwa-chan is doing and if Iwa-chan is getting on fine? They even asked if you were still in college or if you ever went on dates. It was ridiculous Iwa-chan! It was more like they wanted_ ** _you_** _to be in therapy than me._  

 

It became a routine thing, he hobbled up to the therapist office every Thursday and then hobbled back, complaining the entire time to Iwa-chan. After the second meeting the therapist went on a different subject than _Iwa-chan_ , inquiring about if he had any ‘dates’ with his friends lately. The therapist told him that going out with Makki and Mattsun might ‘help him’. And he found he did miss the company of the two nerds and-

 

They met up on a Sunday, the two talking as if they were walking on egg shells. He came home drunk, flopped on the couch and cried for the first time in a long time. Hajime was no where to be found.

 

The next day they fought, him with his horrible head ache and Hajime yelling him to _get the fuck over yourself._ He threw something, took a vicious joy in hearing it crash and the glass splatter everywhere (just like in that car- but without the screaming)

 

The next week was cold hostility, Hajime glaring but never speaking and he refused to be the first one to speak as well. It wasn’t until a foggy morning, with him staring down at his (stupid) stump of a leg that Hajime spoke.

 

“I’m dead.”

 

“No you’re not.”

 

He refused to look over, but his hand crept to find Hajime’s holding it as tightly as he could-

 

“Yes I am. I am dead. Iwaizumi Hajime is dead.”

 

“No you aren’t-

 

Because Iwa-chan would never abandon me.”

 

Because Hajime would never, ever leave him alone in this big cold world and make him have to fight all by himself-

 

Hajime would never be heartless enough to do that to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't exactly sure how to end it- I had the last bit planned from the start but I wasn't sure when to end it? Where it'd be smooth-ish? 
> 
> Quick little story, not proof read yet (I may or may not do that later because I'm sure I have so many mistakes) inspired a little bit by La La La by Naught Boy feat. Sam Smith (it's an awesome song)


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